All that should have been
by Nic.Lan
Summary: From YJanonmeme. She doesn't even turn his way and he feels like he was dying a little more than the last for every time she doesn't. Wally/Fem!Robin/Roy


YJ anon meme Prompt Fill: We all know the future Babs or Kory debate in Robin's future right?  
>Cause he loves them red heads and all...<p>

Well let's say that his reversed gender version has the same fetish and she has two red heads fighting over her again. The childhood friend that pretty much watched her grow up, Wally. The sexy beast of teenage wet dreams, Roy.

I decided to step up take on this challenge, though that could just be my fetish for gender bender. I had no idea what to name Dick seeing as he's a woman at this point so I went without an official one. For the sake of the story, Dick has been aged up and is the banging babe he was never meant to be, but still is in this story.

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><p>This was some form of sadism, of that Wally was absolutely sure because what other label would fit the desperation and feel of someone clawing at open wounds? He wondered if she knew, he almost wanted her to know because at least then she would be acknowledging him in some form in spite of twisted intentions. Though she doesn't even turn his way and he feels like he was dying a little more than the last for every time she doesn't.<p>

His heart tugged at how languid she moved, displayed in clothing that draped around the intricate curves of her body. The world seemed to grow quiet despite the loud pounding of the speakers in the background, the flickering lights enhancing her powerful image of seduction and deep sin while the air was thick and polluted by drugs.

The alcoholic drink Wally held in his hand crushed underneath his strong grip as his eyes caught the sight of Roy stalking towards her with obvious intention, she raised her head and their eyes catch each other. The underlying intensity and intimacy between the two of them is all too much, though Wally doesn't look away. No, he simply glares with his narrowed eyes and all the bitterness in the world.

A wicked smile tugged at her painted lips and something inside of Wally's chest is rubbed raw.

Robin gave Roy a sly look over her shoulder before sauntering across the room, he followed in pursuit and Wally... Wally watched the horrible, heartbreaking scene play out before him.

They stand at the edge of the room, where his eyes almost can't see them though _only almost _because he caught the way she twisted her neck and gazed at Roy's rugged face despite his towering height. An insistent smirk tugged at Roy's mouth and that was the moment Wally decided he really dislikes the red headed man for all their pretend friendships between the three of them.

Though he idly wondered when Roy had also realized that their Robin, tiny always smiling Robin who played childish tricks with their minds, had grown into a woman whom they could no longer recognize though still played games that never seemed to have a winner in the end.

Wally knows that Robin doesn't mean it with the way she twists their emotions around her dainty little finger because when she loved, it's all too much and at times can be even smothering. She laughed a little too freely and all too eerie, even when she fell a little too hard and hardly hated another soul she would never intentionally hurt either of men she seemed to hold so dear.

The movement of Robin's slender wrists when she grasped the taller man's neck recaptured Wally's attention as she pulled him closer till their lips almost touch. Wally seethed when she started to whisper something into the other man's ear as he leaned farther down, he can only imagine the love laced words that she started murmur though he's not so pathetic to imagine they belong to him.

Time still doesn't flow correctly, though he'd deny anything magical involved when he came to his wits, when a girl to Wally's left is tugging at him, shouting words over the loud music that he can't hear. He allowed her to drag him to the dance floor as she started to grind against him. She looked barely legal and overly intoxicated though he doesn't resist her blatant advances.

Wally has sunk too far deep in pain and makes him wish someone punched him in the stomach instead. Physical pain only lasts so long and he usually heals quickly, though he doesn't know when he'll recover from this. No one understands though send pity filled looks his way and Wally knows how obvious he's become when _Superboy_ sternly tells him to stop staring so lovingly at her. Well obvious as obvious was going to get because she still doesn't seem to realize his feelings or is just repressing the hell out of them.

Though if anyone had asked, Wally and Robin were simply just friends. Best friends, in fact. Nothing could change that. Not even her bright blue eyes framed by long dark lashes. Not her insistent touches that had long turned foreign. Not the way she flies so freely through the air while he pounded his feet against concrete, well grounded.

Not even when she says "I love you, Wally West" so sickly sweetly even though it's not the way he desperately hopes she means, though the painfully realistic side of him acknowledged the teasing lilt she adds. Robin had said it so softly once when they were younger though Wally had pretended to never have heard the confession and she never said it again.

Wally felt slightly faint as he claimed his dance partner's lips, she tasted like alcohol and lust although by then he's already too gone to care of the ramifications the morning after will bring. Though he still watched out of the corner of his eye how the woman he loved and the man he thought was his friend pressed together in the darkness and heat.

And oh god, she's smiling a smile so heartfelt for Roy like he's a prince on a god damn white pony she'll deny she's always wanted to whisk her away. It is almost kind of ridiculous how Roy's toughen image comes apart at the seams whenever she smiles though Wally doesn't really blame him all that much. Though he still really doesn't like him right now.

Wally swears every time he closed his eyes that he'll get over her, even when Robin's after image lingers in his mind. Swore that there would be a day when all the smiles plastered across his lips would actually be genuine even when she flirts in the face of danger. Though that day didn't seem to be coming closer any time sooner.

He wondered if Robin ever felt this way when she was still crushing on him, experiencing the same weight pressed oh so heavily against her chest. Smiling at pretty girls who may or may not have smiled back was a favorite past time of his, though Wally never noticed how Robin acted when he called M'gann beautiful or bantered playfully with Artemis. He should have.

Wally understands, really he does though that doesn't stop the feelings of betrayal. It seems like no matter what he does, all actions and thoughts are traced back to the girl that _should have been_ in his arms tonight instead of the sloppily drunk one.

He should have had fallen in love with her sooner, but she wasn't his anymore now than she was the moment he realized what he had lost. The idiotic epiphany Wally had of how much he lost by ignoring her infatuation for the sake of their lifelong friendship was the starting point of what he was sure to be his down fall.

They could have been something a long time ago though now Wally is stuck on the what if's and all the beginnings that never truly started.

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><p>Why the heck am I even doing this when I have a much delayed DRRR chapter update I have to finish? I dunno, my mind has been pretty troubled lately I can't concentrate on something for too long. Procrastination had always been one of my stronger suits. I added a bunch of details to the previous version I had up on livejournal. I totally know that this isn't the right grammar, but I'm experimenting with my writing so whatever.<p>

I'm way too tired to properly deal with this story so I'll probably come back later and edit this again.

Review?


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